


same as it ever was

by Enya (crystallineAbyss)



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Gen, Grieving, Honest to god this was just supposed to be an audition for a role play and it got way out of hand, Oneshot, character exploration, skuld gets sad and goes for a walk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:55:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23644984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystallineAbyss/pseuds/Enya
Summary: Wind has a voice.  Rain sings like a choir.  Skuld uses the quiet of the early morning to find a place to harmonize with them to express her feelings.
Kudos: 4





	same as it ever was

**Author's Note:**

> Just some Skuld is Subject X feels this late at night. I dunno what came over me, I just wanted to audition for a role play and I accidentally started humming the vocalization from Gris it became this a few hours later while listening to said soundtrack. Enjoy.

The wind had a voice. Much like human voices, it’d swell in volume and intensity, or disappear into a whisper only heard by few. It spoke, it had feelings almost...it was like its own entity. The wind murmured and whispered with a gentle breeze, bringing a sense of serenity to it. It carried with it scents from near and far - either aromatic gardens, or the salty sea; it just depended on where you were. That voice was melodic, it was chipper, it was happy. It felt like an old friend, tugging you by the wrist and demanding you play again.

The present wind was brutal.

Angry and volatile, the wind howled loudly. It yelled, it tore across the streets - sending things flying in its wake. It wasn’t a constant scream - one harrowing, yet powerful. Instead, it came in bursts, with each pause like it catching its breath. It yelled and yelled til air no longer laid in its lungs, and much like one yelling soon faded to instead let the symphony of the rain take over in its place and a gentle breeze to softly grace the land.

Much like wind, rain - too - had a voice. But unlike wind’s solitary voice, this was a chorus. Like a choir, the rain came down and sang in different tones. It sang as it hit puddles, fell heavily on rooftops, and cascaded from awnings. Like a small waterfall, or a babbling brook - the different sound textures came together in something almost transcendent. Clatters, bubbling, rushing - that didn’t even count the ever-present and intoxicating petrichor that tied it all up.

The town was sleepy that early in the morning, while the rosy dawn lit up the cobble below. Heaven’s tears pooled between each stone, filling dents and ditches and letting the street shimmer in the rising light. Everything from rooftops to window gardens to the actual gardens had a pleasant glean to them from being soaked, while not a soul interrupted such peaceful bliss.

That’s how Skuld liked it. She liked walking in the early hours of the morning to avoid the crowds, avoid the noise. The elements just helped ensure that living beings stayed _inside_ and didn’t interrupt her. This way she could collect her thoughts before a day of travel or study, and not have to worry about losing her head. It was like a form of mediation - just letting the songs of nature carry her away without a care.

Each sound related to the rain helped maintain her heartbeat, and tune her in to the symphony around her. From her heavy footsteps, to the occasional splash; from her soft breathing, to the loud clatter of rain against her umbrella. It was enough white noise to clear her head and let her think, let the melodies rise up and replace the prior night terrors.

So many years had passed since those days more simple. Days of lux collection, world protection, and a group of leaders she called friends. She always wondered what happened to them...but knew it better to not dwell on the past. This present day wandering had taught her that - to keep her head in the present, and not worry about the past. Rather, look to the future! Look to what was in store! Her time in the cage taught her that _well_ \- to look to the future, and not dwell too long on the darkness of the past.

Especially if there are those looking for that past.

Skuld had long accepted that times had changed. It’s why she wandered: to see what had changed, and what had remained the same. She - one so temporally displaced - could only do so much to alleviate the pain of the past...so it was better to look to the future.

Look to new friends, but never forget to honor the old.

Feet carried her to the edge of town, and carried her further still - beyond the town, beyond its outskirts, and beyond oft’ traveled paths to the edge of the forest. From downpour against roofs to the patter of rain on leaves, she cut through the greenwood on her walk to a sunny hill - one that felt familiar, yet still dissimilar to the one she remembered so well now. A swath of color greeted her, flowers of all types greeting her as she moved to kneel in the bed despite the rain-soaked ground.

This felt just like that place.

Just like home.

A deep breath filled Skuld’s lungs as she looked to the sky past the brim of her dark umbrella, hazel eyes watching the clouds through the wreath of raindrops. She paused to watch - a pause that lasted just a second before a clear note escaped her.

Skuld sang.

She sang to the heavens, voice ringing around her with the melodies of nature - the soft wind, the persistent rain, whatever animals chose to brave the elements. She sang to the skies, and sang to the ground. She harmonized with the world, voice carrying out from her like it was leaving her. The sounds were sad. The sounds were lonely. The sounds were from her own heart.

Even if she had accepted she should move on, she was still allowed to grieve.

Skuld sang until she could sing no more, voice fading with her breath as she stilled. The rain picked up with where she left off as she fell back onto her haunches in the serene ambience of nature. Her face felt wet, but it was a warm kind of wet - not from heaven’s tears, but her own. Her grip tightened on the umbrella she held as her breathing grew shaky.

“...You guys are assholes,” she said through a shaky laugh. “Leaving me here. Alone.” She spoke to the ground like someone would respond, toying with a dandelion puff idly. “Y’know how hard it is? To keep a smile up for you guys? I’m doing my damndest, you could at least show some respect!”

She’d never get an answer. She knew that.

Calloused fingers plucked the dandelion from the ground as she rolled it between her fingers and watched seeds cascade to the ground below. Of all the fields she had to choose today, it was one with dandelions that grew in abundance…

“I met a girl today,” she said as she shifted the topic. “She was nice. Friendly. ...Not in a world that was free of World Order. I wish I could’ve stayed with her, but I had to move on.”

The dandelion puff was lifted up as she found herself idly examining each little seed attached to the base - each one a potential new flower ready to spring forth when it scatters. A new life, just waiting for the right push.

“Y’know, if it weren’t for you guys, I’d feel a hell of a lot less guilty moving on. So it’s all your faults for being rude.” She was talking to thin air again - a clear mark of insanity. It brought a small laugh from her as she settled back down.

“...I miss you all.” A breath scattered the seeds as she carefully set the stem down in front of her. “I know you can’t miss me. Guess that’s why I gotta pull all the heavy weight around here, eh? Gotta do all the missing, all the grieving...Same as it ever was.”

It was on that note that Skuld stood. The wreath of droplets shifted as she stood to her full height as she watched rays of light peak from the clouds - like a painting of old, and a sign of whatever there may be. She wiped a hand across her face to mop up the tears, but only served to make her face more wet from the damp sleeve. A hollow laugh escaped her as she stood and watched the rain fall around her, trying to resync her breathing and her heart with the tune nature hummed.

“Maybe someday I’ll see you guys again,” she said, once again like she was actually speaking to someone. “Hope you guys recognize me. Time’s a bitch, but she’s got a chokehold on me.”

And so began her trek back to her temporary lodgings, not looking forward to the din of people talking out of tune. Instead, she focused on the melodies nature provided - and tried to absorb them as best she could _while_ she still could.

Another day. Another step forward.

Same as it ever was.

**Author's Note:**

> Gris heavily inspired this, as it's just Grief the Video Game. If you can't play it, at least listen to the soundtrack on [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/album/2YMWspDGtbDgYULXvVQFM6?si=HxlcHOjlSUWtNIAw5i33mQ) (please).
> 
> Sorry/not sorry for the Talking Heads title.  
> \--  
> [Tumblr](https://crystallineabyss.tumblr.com/)  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/VestaBlackclaw)


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